Meaning of friendship

Meaning of friendship:

Dear Wikipedia has the best answer:

Friendship is a term used to denote co-operative and supportive behavior between two or more people. In this sense, the term connotes a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, and affection and respect along with a degree of rendering service to friends in times of need or crisis. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other, often to the point of altruism. Their tastes will usually be similar and may converge, and they will share enjoyable activities. They will also engage in mutually helping behavior, such as exchange of advice and the sharing of hardship. A friend is someone who may often demonstrate reciprocating and reflective behaviors. Yet for many, friendship is nothing more than the trust that someone or something will not harm them.

Value that is found in friendships is often the result of a friend demonstrating the following on a consistent basis:

• the tendency to desire what is best for the other,
• sympathy and empathy,
• honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart,
• mutual understanding.

Ling2 has said that I placed friendship at too high a level. I expect too much from it that's why I fall badly and hurt deeply. She had the same experience with me too. We were glad we can find this mutual understanding and sympathy with each other. Without saying we understand each other. Even at times of difficulties and extreme conditions when all evidence pointed that I am the one at fault she never once doubt me. I was so touched that I cried. I can't believe I have met such a true friend. Who always believe in me and understand that on the surface some situations may seen like I am the bad one. But it is all due to some unspeakable reasons or simply I was being set up by someone. End up both us hugging each other and cried. We were so glad to be with each other. Take one example from story book. Suddenly I can't recall the names of these guys. ( Maybe I will check up later they were really famous ancient heros) They were best friends and one day the king instruct guy A to deliver or get some stuff to/from neighboring country for some reasons. But guy A refused so king held the sword over the neck of his good friend B. If he don't go and B will be killed within that time limit. Anyway A didn't ran away or simply disappeared. He went through hell to come back and save his friend B. The task assigned by king was so impossible that everyone gave up any hope for the return of A. But only B has faith in A. He said no matter what A will be back to save him.

Aside from my own experience, this is my point of view: When u know this person well enough, even when things seems negative towards your friend. U should always trust ur instinct and ur friends. Even if the person may really steal or kill or do something bad may even back stab u. The friend may have a good reason or no reason at all. But your faith in the person can even turn the friends around. Maybe he/she rob a bank but becoz u he/she decided to turn in to the police and be good again. Give people a chance to turn over a new leaf.


This reminds of my secondary school best friends Vic and Mei2. We even had this promise : "Boys come and go but our friendship stay forever" (*^-^*)<<< And of course no matter where we are we will always attend each other's wedding. Haha.

This sort of came true after a few years. We were 16/17 years old then. Now we are in our mid 20s. Really boys did come and go but we are always best friends. When we were in our teens girls tend to be more indulged in B & G relationship or dreaming about love love love.
After a few relationships, heart breaks we realize what is more important and meaningful. Friends. Of course ur bf or husband is important too. But ... as we can see friendship never change love do. I can be best friend with this guy A and we became lovers when hormone kick in. Then we can break up when love fades but we are still best friends. Coz we share mutual interest, similar values in life and understandings. Anyway the girls friendship is still going strong and we love to sit around and chat about our ' boy problems'. It was so fun to make fun of the guys.

ABout the above this line:
# honesty, perhaps in situations where it may be difficult for others to speak the truth, especially in terms of pointing out the perceived faults of one's counterpart,
I totally agree. We have to be truthful towards each other at times inorder for the friend to see and face the truth. Vicky never once complained when I told her the truth. She will scold me and hate me and cry cry. A few days later she will come back and said I am sorry my dear Chen Sir. I thank u and love u for telling me that. I will tell her is a real bitch for doing this and that. She will be pointing middle fingers and yeah~~ :P Ok... It may seens like we are pretty vigour but it were doing it for the fun of it. Hahaha. What guys donno what the girls did and said behind their back. :P I am not going to reveal anymore maybe next time. It is fun. We behave differently in front of different people.


NIck names:
If I reveal what we call each other ppl will be kind of shocked. Somehow among friends we all love to give each other nick names. Example of nick names: Kaiou cat, Fei mao ( fat cat), gao lao ( tall guy), ho zhi (monkey), Mozzy ( mozart), jian ( bitchy) , lao shu ( mouse), Ah boy or simply a nick derived from ur name or call by ur family. Seems like we got a lot of nicknames after animals.

I got such funny nick names too. Pls ask them why they call me that I have no idea why.
Firstly y parents happy will call me chuan chuan angry will call me by my full name. My relatives long time never see me open mouth call me : tang lao ya ( in mandarin meaning Donald duck) I almost fainted. When I heard that name then I found out I used to hug a Donald duck as big as myself when I run around wearing a big white diapers and sucking that sucker. Looking like a donald duck myself. -_-.... My dear girl friend Vic love to call me Chen Sir. U ask her.... she just said it felt right. >_< Hahaha.


Dear Chris the Mechanical Engineer with her yummy Ice cream!! She is looking so cute and feminine with her long wavy her. (p/s: I have taken this pic and she agreed to let me post it hear)
Miss u Chris. Hug Hug. I still I remember the times when u have short hair and drive like a pro. Thanks to all my dear friends I never quite acquire the skill of driving. Hahahaha. Btw we never really change much after A levels.

Chris: The girl who is crazy about cats and always drive me around in huge cars. She got this thing for shiny dangling accessories. (this is through years observation) She seen to like shiny dangling sort of bracelets and earings. Aside from that she is a great leader, warm, soft, kind, generous and very happy go lucky. There are a lot more good qualities about Chris which will be very long so cut it short. I thank God that I have met her. She is always so sympathetic and patient even when i am so annoying. I will be complaining complaining about my stupid sob stories. But she care enough to listen to me over and over again. I can't say enough thanks to her.

Love you Chris. Hope to see u soon. Pic below taken early this year 2009.
Conclusion: I still place friendship above all. ( aside from family, coz blood is thicker than water. If my brother need a liver transplant I will still donate to him as we are biologically compatible .) My bf has to be my best friend in order to be my bf. He need to know me very well and me the same way too. I don't get it when someone just met 1 week and got together. Maybe they were fated or whatever. I need to know the person very well.

From Wiki again:

Types of friendships

Best friend (or close friend): a person(s) with whom someone shares extremely strong interpersonal ties with as a friend.

Acquaintance: a friend, but sharing of emotional ties isn't present. An example would be a coworker with whom you enjoy eating lunch, but would not look to for emotional support.

Romantic friendship: the very close but non-sexual friendship shared between two friends, often involving physical contact such as hugging, holding hands, and even cuddling.

Soulmate: the name given to someone who is considered the ultimate, true, and eternal half of the other's soul, in which the two are now and forever meant to be together.

Pen pal: a person who shares a "postal" relationship with another and regularly writes via "snail mail". They may or may not have met each other in person and may share either love, friendship, or simply an acquaintance between each other.

Internet friendship: a widely debated and form of friendship or romance which takes place over the Internet.

Comrade: means "ally", "friend", or "colleague" in a military or (usually) left-wing political connotation. This is the feeling of affinity that draws people together in time of war or when people have a mutual enemy or even a common goal. Friendship can be mistaken for comradeship. Former New York Times war correspondent Chris Hedges wrote:

“

We feel in wartime comradeship. We confuse this with friendship, with love. There are those, who will insist that the comradeship of war is love — the exotic glow that makes us in war feel as one people, one entity, is real, but this is part of war's intoxication. [...] Friends are predetermined; friendship takes place between men and women who possess an intellectual and emotional affinity for each other. But comradeship – that ecstatic bliss that comes with belonging to the crowd in wartime – is within our reach. We can all have comrades.[2]

”

As a war ends, or a common enemy recedes, many comrades return to being strangers, who lack friendship and have little in common.

Casual relationship or "Friends with benefits": the sexual or near-sexual and emotional relationship between two people who don't expect or demand to share a formal romantic relationship. In the U.S., this is considered "a fling".

Boston marriage: a term used in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries to denote two women that lived together in the same household independent of male support. Relationships were not necessarily sexual. It was used to quell fears of lesbians after World War I.

Blood brother or blood sister: may refer to people related by birth, or a circle of friends who swear loyalty by mingling the blood of each member together.

Open relationship: a relationship, usually between two people, that agree each partner is free to have sexual intercourse with others outside the relationship. When this agreement is made between a married couple, it's called an open marriage.

Roommate: a person who shares a room or apartment (flat) with another person and do not share a familial or romantic relationship.

Imaginary friend: a non-physical friend created by a child. It may be seen as bad behavior or even taboo (some religious parents even consider their child to be possessed by an evil spirit), but is most commonly regarded as harmless, typical childhood behavior. The friend may or may not be human, and commonly serves a protective purpose.

Spiritual friendship: the old buddhist ideal of kalyana-mitra, that is a relationship between friends with a common interest, though one person may have more knowledge and experience than the other. The relationship is the responsibility of both friends and both bring something to it.

Wow... never there are so many types of friendship. I don't know. Sometimes it is so hard to catagolorize people under different titles.

This is Best friend, good friend, normal friend, just hi and bye etc. But sometimes at people's 'status' shifted up and down according to events and happenings. Then again that only apply to normal friends. If u are my good friend then u understand me then u forever be my good friend. I will forgive u even when u backstab me. The other Aaron pissed me off becoz he indicate that i got huge eye ball. He didn't know thats my threshold. He trigger it and I blow off. But after I scold him till he's rotten we both apologize after a while. He understand that what i am going through he didn't get sensitive or hurt or misunderstand.

Aaron said: U feel better now after shouting and scolding me??I felt so sorry but glad he did know that I didn't mean to hurt him. He understand that I am just projecting my anger and frustration of other thing to him. He is willing to be the punching bag. Thank u.


Love u all my dear friends. I will try to be a better person. Somehow this year my temper is very bad. Me who used to be the misss good temper never get angry become so angry. Haha.


For everyone:

We cannot love when filled with suspicion.
We cannot trust when filled with doubts.
We cannot forgive when unwilling to believe.
Jing-Si Aphorism by Master Cheng-Yen